A rough guide to English usage for the overseas visitor and those who don't get out much any more.
I frequently have my camera with me and see some strange things worth sharing
Cromer Council thwarts gangs of international dog mess thieves
In a radical initiative to thwart gangs of international dog mess thieves, Cromer Council have chained their collection bins to seats to prevent them from being stolen.
The beauty of this move is that it also solves the problem of seats being infested by gangs of wrinkly Saga louts and their grandchildren wishing to sit and eat their sandwiches, dropping their crumbs and attracting seagulls, flies and other pests.
This ingenious masterstroke of environmental planning has so impressed visitors that they have nominated Cromer Council for a special European Environmental Award
ASBOs now available in bulk from Viking Direct?
I spotted this box of ASBOs when I was visiting the editor of the local parish magazine.
When I commented on it, she told me to go **** myself.
Stone Seagull Keeps Prince Albert's Statue Clean
This is the statue of Prince Albert which looks out over the sea at Tenby in Pembrokeshire.
The sculptor has very cleverly provided Albert with a totally continent stone seagull to occupy the space on top of his head so that the beloved Prince Consort does not suffer the same humiliation as the statue of Nelson in Trafalgar Square.
One day all statues will have their own stone seagulls (or pigeons)
